Movie of the Week 63

Nice Guys   2016   crime comedy action

If you are looking for a buddy-bromance cop flick featuring two A-list actors, this is not the one. In the first place Holland March (Ryan Gosling) and Jackson Healy (Russell Crowe) are not police officers; instead, both are bottom-of-the-barrel private detectives. And the friendship theme does not exist. In fact early in the movie, Healy pounds the crap out of March and breaks his arm. So thankfully, I did not have to hit the bromance warning button (stop DVD). I made it all the way to the credits. Their co-worker relationship is more contractual and instrumental in the common pursuit of a missing person, a young girl named Amelia. 
 
There is no doubt that Gosling is a perfect fit for the role of Holland March, a low IQ, silly, fool of a boy-man with a three day beard stubble, dull eyes, coffin nail hanging out the corner of mouth and glass of whiskey in his hand. In an early scene he goes clandestine to break into a bar to recover evidence, but a simple pane of glass defeats him. March quickly ends up in the emergency room with a slit wrist, without the important clue. Other good March scenes – showing off for a girl, he falls off a balcony and rolls down a steep hill into the woods (now that’s a good stunt man, not Gosling). In the woods March finds a dead man. He and Healy, for some reason, decide to “hide” the body. They chunk the corpse over a privacy fence into the neighbor’s yard, where it crashes onto a table of a wedding reception. Much yelling and screaming ensue (best laugh in movie?). Next March falls asleep behind the wheel and wreaks his car. He is unharmed in the wreck. I just wish he had to suffer and sacrifice even more, because I’m sadistic when it comes to idiot characters like March (Gosling).
 
To add some depth and gravitas to the movie, an evil conspiracy is mixed up with the missing person case. I have a sharp memory when it comes to conspiracy theories but even though I watched the flick last night I can’t say I recall the plot very much: Misty Mountains…. porn star, car crash. A Hollywood party… topless mermaids in pool. Kim Basinger was….. AG? Justice Dept. and Amelia’s mom. Something, something, catalytic converters. A carjacking, something, gun fight. Amelia killed. I think.

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