Most Annoying Performance JOHNNY DEPP – Public Enemies Best Comedy Team Zombieland – Woody Harrelson, Emma Stone, Jesse Eisenberg, Abigail Breslin, Bill Murray Best Ensemble Cast STAR TREK – Chris Pine, Zach Quinto, Simon Pegg, Leonard Nimoy, Karl Urban, Zoe Saldana, John Cho, Anton Yelchin WTF did I just see? (two way tie) Solomon Kane and Moon Most overrated movie Avatar Best juvenile performance Abigail Breslin, age 13; Zombieland Notes from awards committee: Hoping to defuse the loud chorus of angry criticism over the 2009 awards, the Academy finally paid attention to Box Office results and expanded the number of Best Picture nominations from five to ten. Seeing no reason whatever to mock the lame Academy change, HouseClark remained at five noms for Best Picture. The HouseClark top awards and nominations largely differed from the Academy choices which, by the way, totally snubbed our top Motion Picture – Star Wars. The new Star Wars is the best since 1982 The Wrath of Khan, and successfully reboots and recasts one of the most iconic ensemble casts in 60’s TV and pop culture. The casting also recaptures their distinctive personalities and chemistry, while telling a rather fanciful and complex origin story. The plot is about a time-traveling villain who obtains unimaginable weapons technology capable of destructing an entire planet. J.J. Abrams (director/producer) was given a Mission Impossible task with his Star Trek update, but he actually pulled it off. Best Actor Simpson award goes to Jeremy Renner for his tour-de-force performance in the Iraq war movie, The Hurt Locker. The movie would have been nothing without him. Best Actress Simpson Award is presented to Meryl Streep for her on-the-nose, amazing resemblance of Julia Child, America’s first famous woman TV chef in the film Julie and Julia. The voice inflections and body language and her infectious enthusiasm was perfectly done. Bravo! As a bonus Stanley Tucci and Meryl Streep made the best screen couple of the year with plenty of joie-de-vivre in gay (in the old sense of the word) Paris. Fun Surprises - Sherlock Holmes – Being an old school fan of Sherlock Holmes, I admit I was surprised to see Sherlock in a bare knuckle street-fighting tournament -- where, it turns out we learn that his fists are as quick as his mind. In fact he’s a real bad ass. It was a smart play by Guy Ritchie to re-invent the cinematic Sherlock Holmes (and Watson also) in his first, big budget Sherlock Holmes movie. Robert Downey Jr. navigates the fine line between intellectual superior and social lout, Jude Law is a fantastic straight man, and Rachel McAdams steals many a scene as Holmes’s greatest match. Ritchie takes this exciting screenplay in the right directions, assembles a fantastic cast, and directs one of the top five movies of the year, which was naturally, snubbed by the Academy. Up - The movie opens with a remarkable sequence that tells much of a man's life story with minimal dialogue. I've never seen anything quite like it in an animated movie, and it is very touching and unexpected. The closest I can think of is silent film. I was very impressed to see how much the animators were able to convey, and the depth of the material in less than five minutes. Arguably Pixar’s finest moment. Amelia – This is a fine period piece film set in the 1930s for adults with an interest in aviation history; in particular America’s most famous female aviation pioneer – Amelia Earhart. She learned to fly and made a career in a male dominated industry. The story arc takes her from triumph to tragedy. Zombieland - This hit movie is a fun genre mix with plenty of laughs, and is one of the most quotable flicks in recent memory. A good opening scene gets right down to business with the Rules of Survival in Zombieland: "always check the back seat”, "use the double-tap”, "avoid public restrooms”, "cardio”, and so forth. The plot comes down to a road trip movie where the essential travel items are a tactical shotgun with an extended magazine tube, and abundant ammo. An underrated gem. Disappointments – Public Enemies – Violent American history of the 1930s is recreated here with great attention to fedoras, overcoats, and vintage cars. The soundtrack blends well with the visuals, but the storyline is flawed. The film falls into the trap of glamorizing John Dillinger, turning him into a tender, devoted, poetic lover boy. WAIT A MINUTE. Dillinger was a thug all his life; a violent, dishonest, hard-core felon. So why the fascination with this loser? There should be a law against this type of movie. Crazy Heart – It's hard to criticize any movie starring Jeff Bridges and Robert Duvall, but when the credits rolled I was thinking: I saw this exact same storyline back in the 1980s: Tender Mercies. The 1983 film is a classic with five Oscar nominations including two wins. Veteran actor Robert Duvall, as Mac Sledge, won (his first and only) Best Actor Academy award. So, to me, this is Tender Mercies redux, with a serious casting flaw. I could not buy the romance between "Bad" Blake and Jean. The miscasting was pure Hollywood Geezer-Gidget. I could not buy it. Avatar – I went to see Avatar to find out what all the fuss was about. I was not impressed. Some of the visuals were so colorful it reminded me of cartoons. Speaking of cartoons, the plot is as profound as a Roadrunner cartoon. The plot or storyline is moldy-stale and overused; yet beloved by white liberals. The evil corporation taking advantage of the primitive, noble natives; shame, shame! A fanciful and absolutely incorrect presentation of primitive peoples. Lots of fancy 3D and CGI and zero substance. The Blind Side is an overlong love letter to college football starring Sandra Bullock in one of the best dramatic performances of the year. She is great, but the movie is awful when she is off screen. The film is not without a message – blacks need White leadership to succeed and learn family values. The movie is more like something from the Hallmark Channel than a Big Screen film. The Hurt Locker is set during the second Iraq invasion and occupation. The film is deeply flawed by its non-critical approach. There is no debate, zero reflection as to whether the American army had any right to be in Iraq in the first place. Where are all those WMDs that Bush yapped about? To large numbers of Iraqis, the American were simply foreign invaders; hence, the tremendous enthusiasm to build and plant an almost endless number of bombs to kill Americans. The film lacked a purpose, or goal of how to turn off, or stop the bomb making factories and the enemies responsible. Hurt Locker unintentionally displays the cluelessness of US military strategy in Iraq, and the ugly consequences warned by wiser leaders about invading Iraq – “you broke it; now you own it.” Instead the film shows heroic Americans doing thankless, dangerous jobs in Iraq. That makes it a pro-war movie and gives the US soldiers a moral certainty that is denied the faceless army of bomb makers.
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Most Annoying Performance ANGELINA JOLIE – Wanted Best Comedy Tropic Thunder Best Ensemble Cast Tropic Thunder – Ben Stiller, Jack Black, Robert Downey Jr., Nick Nolte, Steve Coogan and Tom Cruise. WTF did I just see? Death Race Most overrated movie Slumdog Millionaire Best juvenile performance Bee Vang, age 16; Gran Torino Notes from awards committee: To begin with, this is a strange year for the Academy awards; not one single Oscar winner or nominee overlapped with the HouseClark Simpson awards. Howls of protests from millions of movie fans derided the Academy choices. Two major blunders stood out the most: the snub for Best Picture of Christopher Nolan's popular, big-budget summer hit, and king of the 2008 box office, The Dark Knight; and #2 the snub of Clint Eastwood for his directing and dramatic role in his hit movie Gran Torino. In Gran Torino, Eastwood plays a real man (Walter) without a hint of fake Hollywood tropes. Walter is - gruff, tough, aloof, half-broken by the loss of his wife, disappointed and distant with his kids and grandkids, and a bit haunted by the dark memory of war. All the negative reviews of Gran Torino played the “Racist Card” in a sort of knee-jerk reaction to Walt’s non PC language. They are wrong; Walt doesn’t much like anyone, and, if you insist on labels for people, Walt more correctly is a misanthropist – an unlikeable trait in a main character that the movies usually avoid. In fact, Walt prides himself on it. Eastwood takes a big risk here, but it leads to glorious redemption and the best movie finale in the last several years. It is an honor to award the Best Actor Simpson to Clint Eastwood in Gran Torino. To begin with, you do NOT need to be a comic book superhero fan to enjoy The Dark Knight. From start to finish the film has you on the edge of your seat, enjoying every minute. The acting is first class; Bale is the gold standard Batman, Ledger, as the Joker, is the nightmare villain, twisted, evil, unapologetic, irrational, completely void of a moral compass. The visuals are outstanding. Dark gloomy Gotham City, in a steep cultural decline, is the perfect setting for a dramatic clash between good and evil. Soundtrack puts viewers in the mood and anticipating the next intense scene. It was the best film of the year and not even nominated. We are pleased to correct that mistake and present the HouseClark Best Motion Picture award to The Dark Knight. Best Actress Simpson winner is Karen Allen. Once again she teams up with her old flame, Indiana Jones, for some seat-of-the-pants adventure. She reprises her role as Marion Ravenwood and picks up right where she left off. At the very least, the award is a worthy valentine to Karen Allen, an actress full of spunk and sparkle, in spades. Harrison Ford and Karen Allen make the best film couple of the year. Fun Surprises - Tropic Thunder – Best comedy of the year and as a bonus, an all-star cast of top comedians. It’s a Rumble in the Jungle with a gang of clueless idiots in full camo. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - this is a Lucas Films/Steven Spielberg summer blockbuster and #3 at Box Office. Major big screen visual impact as you would expect - Mutt playing Tarzan swinging on the vines with a bunch of monkeys is very silly, but the frantic car chase through the jungle, complete with sword fights, wildass fisticuffs, giant ants, the sensational boat ride over the triple waterfalls, etc. – the amazing stunts are what you expect from an Indiana Jones movie. And Cate Blanchett is a cool villainess with plenty of Cold War vibes. The Russians are the bad guys – truckloads of them armed with machine guns, but in classic Lucas Films style, the commies could not hit a barn door (suffer from the Stormtrooper syndrome, as it is known). Harrison, age 66, goes full Rambo/Rocky against a big Russian 30 years younger, but You Guessed it! Indy pounds the crap out of him. Valkyrie – A WW2 story told from the German perspective with American and British actors, directors and writers; even Hitler is played by a UK actor. For once, the story is NOT about Nazis running around killing Jews, but instead we have German officers running around trying to kill Hitler. Why didn’t the Germans come up with this movie idea first? Based on a true story with plenty of suspense and tragedy that typified the 1940s. Disappointments – Slumdog Millionaire – The storyline is a "boy meets girl, boy loses girl, and so forth" fairy tale and I don't mean that in a good way. The follow-the-dots plot leads to an ending that we all can easily guess. And when the couple finally get together, where are the sparks, you know, the screen chemistry? There is barely enough chemistry to fill a shot glass. The film ends on a hollow, flat note. Queue the Bollywood dancers. Slumdog is an OK watchable movie. Best Picture of the year? You have got to be kidding. In Bruges – Do not believe the hype that this is a ha-ha comedy about two hit men sightseeing in Belgium; it’s not funny. I never laughed once. In fact the constant vulgarity and bloody mayhem at the ending was shockingly bad and overwhelmed the intended dark humor. The best part of the movie is the charming, well preserved, medieval city of Bruges. 
Most Annoying Performance CATE BLANCHETT – Elizabeth: the Golden Age Best Comedy Team Music and Lyrics – Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore Best Ensemble Cast 3:10 to Yuma - Christian Bale, Russell Crowe, Peter Fonda, Ben Foster, Logan Lerman, Gretchen Mol, Dallas Roberts, and Vinessa Shaw, WTF did I just see? 1408 Most overrated movie No Country for Old Men Best juvenile performance Abigail Breslin; No Reservations Notes from awards committee: The Academy winners and noms for the 2008 Oscars were, once again, wildly off the mark. In the top categories – Best Picture, Best Actor and Best Actress – only ONE out of the fifteen nominations matched up at HouseClark, namely Best Actress award to Marion Cotillard for her outstanding role as “the little sparrow” in La Vie en Rose. The Academy got everything else wrong. La Vie en Rose was snubbed by Oscar for the five top films in the Best Picture category. So it is with great pleasure to correct that mistake and award the Best Picture Simpson for La Vie en Rose. The film is not your typical Rags-to-Riches movie; the storyline is complex and is more a rich mosaic of Edith Piaf’s singing career rather than a dry, year-by-year book report of her life. The film requires an adult attention span but is not difficult to follow. I agree with one reviewer who wrote that some people shun foreign language films with subtitles, but to have dubbed this from French would have been a crime. Sixty years after her death, Edith’s music is still popular, and La Vie en Rose is a fitting tribute. Best Actor Simpson award goes to Brad Pitt for his turn as Jesse James in The Assassination of Jesse James by the coward Robert Cole. Snubbed by Oscar, Pitt’s Jesse James performance captures the essence of a charismatic person with a tendency towards anti-social violence. The film delves deep into his inner conflicts and emotions, without sentimentality or hero-worship. The artistic style of the film is evident in the first action scene: a nighttime train robbery. It was amazing to see. The lighting, camera direction, and music blended perfectly to produce a measure of realism and strange beauty not expected. There have been plenty of good Westerns over the past several years, but not one that so handsomely re-invents the genre as this film. Fun Surprises - The Bourne Ultimatum – This is a chase film taken to an unheard of level of skill and daring. Mind-blowing action with Big Screen impact that jumps all over the world. This is the third film of the very popular Jason Bourne trilogy, but is also a great stand-alone movie. No Reservations 2007 - Welsh beauty Catherine Zeta-Jones stars as an uber-feminist lady chef (Kate) who learns the value of family and love after meeting a real man. It is her best role in years. Abigail Breslin (Zoe) is the cute, little kid and Aaron Eckhart is Nick, the fun, carefree chef working in Kate’s kitchen. Lots of good laughs – I loved the safari pizza dinner night. Great scenes of an upscale, very busy kitchen dynamics, and a few comical clashes with the clientele. Lots of food talk but not too intense, as the focus stays on a budding romance. The best romantic comedy of the year. Hitman & Elite Squad – kick-ass action. Death Proof - Stuntman Mike, played by Kurt Russell, is one of the most charming, deadly villains ever presented on the big screen. The film also features one of the greatest, life-or-death car chases ever filmed, with stunt legend Zoe Bell strapped to the hood of a car. Mr. Brooks – the best psychological thriller of the year with a clever take on Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Earl Brooks (Kevin Costner), a mild mannered, successful businessman, lives a secret life of a serial killer. Mr. Hyde (William Hurt) is the evil alter-ego who can be seen and heard by Mr. Brooks. It is a clever device that allows us to hear his thoughts as he converses with his own mind – usually about the next victim. 1408 - John Cusack, who has long been underrated as a performer, gets the chance to really show us his acting skills in this role – a writer who specializes in debunking paranormal activity. Soon after he checks into Room 1408 in the Dolphin Hotel, he confronts genuine horror and realizes that he is in over his head. Can he make it through the night and check out? The Brave One – Jodie Foster gets mugged by reality and becomes a fascist vigilante. She really puts her heart and soul into it once she gets a semi-auto 9mm. Wonderful tribute to the 2A. Disappointments – No Country for Old Men - Chigurh, a homicidal maniac, goes Jack Rippering across Texas. His victims are Mexicans, a police officer and poor, rural whites. In the movie universe these folks are often treated with scorn, and nobody cares if they are brutally murdered; consequently, the killer is lazily pursued by a small town sheriff. In the real world, the law would have been on this crazy killer like white on rice, but not in this twisted flick. The media movie critics went orgasmic over this movie, and the hype was through the roof. 3:10 to Yuma – I love a good western, but this movie has an absurd and incoherent plot and is very overrated. I cannot understand how so many viewers do not see how illogical this movie is – the final big showdown scene made no sense. In a nutshell, Bale (good guy Dan) is left as the only one standing to take Crowe (bad outlaw Ben Wade) to the train station for the trip to courthouse and jail. Wade’s gang of seven sits atop their horses ready to rescue Ben Wade. Bale must take his prisoner (Crowe), not only past the gang but half the town that has been offered bounty money. So how does he do it? The Director decides to turn the movie completely upside down and have Crowe aid and abet Bale in running the gauntlet. Not only aid and abet, but kill off every last one of his loyal outlaw gang. The utterly non sequitur ending was so bad it ruined the movie experience. I don’t blame the excellent cast of actors; this flick was screwed up well before they took the stage. Charlie Wilson’s War – This is a flag waving flick intended to celebrate Americans helping the Afghans defeat the Soviets in the 1980’s. It was based loosely on the non-fiction book by the same name. It presents the inside story how Americans armed Afghans fighters with advanced weapons. In the book by George Crile, it is clearly stated that some of the fighters receiving American arms were anti-Western Muslim extremists. One man in particular was a hardcore jihadist. His name was Osama Bin Laden. The final movie script edited out any mention of Muslim extremists, at the insistence of Tom Hanks. While this movie presents a sanitized version of history and omits the negative blowback from aiding Muslim extremists, it unintentionally shows the beginning of the path to 9/11. On a tactical level Charlie’s Afghan aid was a success. The Stinger missiles neutralized Soviet air power and tipped the scales in favor of the Afghan fighters. But it was a short lived success followed by catastrophic collapse leading to the Taliban, Al Qaeda and the 9/11 terror attacks on America. Rah, rah, hell of a job Charlie! Enjoy the movie, just don’t think too much. Elizabeth: The Golden Age – The film glosses over the 1588 Spanish Armada crisis, and instead dwells on a palace soap opera interspersed by much fussing with wigs & hair-dos. Kate Blanchett takes a shot and misses with her too modern take on Elizabeth. She fails to capture the strength and majesty and vanity of the real Queen. To see how it is done, watch Flora Robson play the Virgin Queen in Fire Over England (1937). Transformers - Who would have thought that giant, talky robot cars + Megan Fox prancing around in a tank top = Box Office Gold? Juno - Ellen Page spewing snarky, bullshit teenage slang completely ruined the movie. Very overrated. 
Most Annoying Performance ALAN ARKIN – Little Miss Sunshine Best Comedy Cashback Best Ensemble Cast A Prairie Home Companion – Garrison Keillor, Meryl Streep, Lily Tomlin, Woody Harrelson, John C. Reilly, Lindsay Lohan, Kevin Kline, Virginia Madsen. WTF did I just see? Stranger Than Fiction Most overrated movie Little Miss Sunshine Best juvenile performance Ivana Baquero, age 11; Pan’s Labyrinth Notes from awards committee: The Academy winners and noms for the 2007 Oscars were wildly off the mark. In the top categories – Best Picture, Best Actor and Best Actress – only ONE out of the fifteen matched up at HouseClark, namely, Meryl Streep for her role as Amanda Priestly in The Devil Wears Prada. Streep’s performance is not just razor-sharp and subtle and regal; she dominates her scenes, and she is superb. This is a great actress at the peak of her power. We forgive her for all her dumb comments on politics, and award Meryl the Best Actress Simpson. The Best Motion Picture Simpson award goes to The Da Vinci Code, a controversial, highly successful mystery, suspense, thriller. The movie has an interesting, if not fanciful storyline and is powered by the terrific, memorable performances by two of the stars; Tom Hanks and the beautiful Audrey Tautou. It is a breathless film, everything happens in fast motion, and the visuals are stunning. The movie is entertaining from the beginning to the end, and that is why it killed at the Box Office with over $200 million. Very re-watchable. Not another Oscar snub for Tom Cruise? It is an honor to award Best Actor Simpson to Mr. Cruise. In Mission: Impossible III” Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) finds genuine emotional connections which are turned against him in powerful fashion, adding invaluable weight to his best ever performance – intense and energetic. Fun Surprises - The Devil Wears Prada – Amanda Priestly, played by Meryl Streep, is the impossible, heartless, horrible boss of a high fashion magazine, but to anyone who’s actually had a tough boss in private industry, she’s not that bad. In fact, Streep puts on an effective clinic on successful leadership traits. She demands excellence and hard work. What’s wrong with that? Streep is magnificent as her voice never reaches past mezzo-piano even when one of her staff has screwed up. In the best monologue of the year, Amanda delivers a perfect speech on a shade of blue called Cerulean. A Prairie Home Companion – is a gentle, comical movie about a farewell edition of a radio variety show. It has been said that a great Robert Altman film is like being at a fun party with no boring guests. This is one of his best. Two sisters Yolanda and Rhonda Johnson (Meryl Streep and Lily Tomlin) steal the show with their lovely onstage duets, and the two singing cowboys, Dusty and Lefty are hilarious. Mission Impossible 3 – A sequel with the best story and best acting of the franchise, to date. The film finds Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) returning to active duty after one of his students is abducted, which sends him hurtling into the path of Owen Davian (Philip Seymour Hoffman), whose bizarre, weary ruthlessness is genuinely frightening. A good quality, big-budget Hollywood blockbuster. Cashback - This movie is a cult classic that is best remembered for three reasons: portraying the worst insomnia streak in modern human history, worst soccer game in sports history, and female nudity that Russ Meyers would approve. The two stars of the movie are Ben and Sarah. They meet while working together on the night shift at the local grocery store. Ben is on the rebound from a painful breakup and keeps mooning about his old girlfriend. It takes him a while to discover what he is looking for in a girl is right in front of him. It sounds like a serious movie, but it has plenty of fun comedy relief. Casino Royale – James Bond, agent 007, is rebooted for the sixth time since Sean Connery hung up his spurs. Daniel Craig assumed the role with this movie and made it his own with suave style and thrilling action. In CR he teams up with Vesper Lyn played by Eva Green. She has my vote for the best Bond girl in the entire franchise. Stranger than Fiction – this quirky movie is a fun genre mix of comedy-romance and fantasy. If you liked Groundhog Day, you will probably like this movie. Will Ferrell plays it low-key and believable as a regimented IRS agent facing a life crisis. He meets a carefree, wacky baker, played by Maggie Gyllenhaal, and, for the first time, falls in love. Emma Thompson can do no wrong and she is in the best scenes. Disappointments – The Departed - I was underwhelmed by this Oscar winner – it was way too long with a talky, talky first half and a too violent second half. Perhaps I have seen enough bad cop/good cop and mob flicks, and I despise glorification of criminals by Hollywood stars. Despite all the big name (all male) stars, this movie was just plain boring to me. None of the characters were likeable and most were outright dreary and slimy. My guess is that the Academy felt they owed Martin Scorsese a best picture award after short-changing the man in 2005 when Aviator should have easily won. Little Miss Sunshine – A weird story about a crazy family that goes on a road trip to attend a little girl’s talent show. Alan Arkin ruins the movie with his performance as the twisted grandfather. He is neither funny nor remotely believable. It's a shame that Alan Arkin was cast in it, he's from the 70's and he should stay there. Very overrated. The Queen – This film had a Made-for-TV look and feel. The big screen aesthetics were missing, but the acting talent was above average. The movie provides middle class group therapy for those grieving over the 1997 accidental death of Lady Diane. 
Most Annoying Performance KEIRA KNIGHTLEY – Pride and Prejudice Best Comedy Team Wedding Crashers – Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson Best Ensemble Cast The Great Raid – Benjamin Bratt, James Franco, Joseph Fiennes, Robert Mammone, Connie Nielson, and Natalie Mendoza. WTF did I just see? Constantine Most overrated movie Crash Best juvenile performance Daniel Radcliffe – Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire Notes from awards committee: In one of the most notorious blunders of the 2000s decade, the Academy awarded Best Picture to the appropriately named wreck of movie, Crash. HouseClark is proud to correct that mistake and award the Best Picture Simpson to The Great Raid, an outstanding WW2 drama set in the Pacific and based on true events about an American Ranger Battalion on a secret rescue mission to free American POW’s at the notorious Cabanatuan Camp in the Philippines. It is a shame the film was panned by critics as “Propaganda” and “anti-oriental” when the reality of the Japanese brutality was much worse than depicted in the movie. A shocking 40% of American POWs died in Japanese captivity, as compared to 1% of American POWs who died in German prison camps. In a year of several great male performances, Joachim Phoenix is awarded the Best Actor Simpson for his lead role in Walk the Line. His uncanny resemblance to Mr. Cash was remarkably well done. Best Actress Simpson Award goes to Reese Witherspoon for her performance as June Carter Cash, Johnny Cash’s musical partner and muse and love of his life. Their dazzling chemistry is what really propels the movie. Fun Surprises - Walk the Line – After a clunky, slow start, the movie takes off when Johnny Cash cuts his first recording with Sun Records and it becomes a hit. The two leads, Phoenix and Witherspoon, are the best screen couple of the year, and maybe the decade. They have style and talent to burn. Lord of War – Nicholas Cage is at his finest as he plays Yuri Orlov, a shady international gun runner who has “done business with every army except the Salvation Army”. Yuri is the classic anti-hero: sometimes humorous, always greedy, often jaded and has the best contacts and network in the military weapons business. This is not a typical Hollywood movie; it has plenty of truth but is not a stupid message movie. Serenity – is the movie sequel to the much-beloved, short-lived science-fiction series Firefly, with all the show's central characters and the original creator/writer/director returning for the movie. This minor miracle is the reason that the movie perfectly captures the flavor, style, humor and excitement of the original TV series. The movie is good as a standalone, but many Sci-fi fans soon buy the Firefly DVD after seeing this movie. Wedding Crashers – This men-behaving-bad flick starring Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn was the surprise hit of the year at the box office – banking over $200 million. With so many romantic- comedies failing to deliver on the comedy, Wedding Crashers delivers comedy in spades. War of the Worlds – Steven Spielberg’s film adaptation of the famous 1898 HG Wells book about an alien invasion is a masterful chronicle of panic and confusion. Tom Cruise delivers one of his best performances as a desperate father facing constant danger. The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio - re-creation of the late fifties and early sixties is realistic, vivid and affectionate. I should know; I remember it well. Julianne Moore’s superb performance of a resourceful, patient and smart mother was snubbed by the Academy. The New World – Set in 1607 America in (what will later be called) Virginia the English settlers establish a crude settlement at Jamestown, and soon meet the native inhabitants. An uneasy relationship develops, not without a few flash points that have the potential to wipe out the outmanned English settlers. Disappointments - Crash – preaches a sermon on the racial divide in America with racism the theme in each of the many episodes. This is a race-hustling spinach movie – good for you (maybe), but not very appetizing. In fact I saw so much bickering and angry people in multicultured LA, I went away thinking that the move was in favor of bringing back segregation to achieve lasting peace and calm. Pride and Prejudice - Its fatal flaw is Keira Knightley in the role of Elizabeth Bennet whose too modern, silly coquettish demeanor would have no chance to attract an intelligent man, much less an alpha male like Mr. Darcy. For superior films more in tune with Jane Austen’s book, watch the 1980 BBC version with Elizabeth Garvie and David Rintoul, or the 1995 A&E version with Colin Firth and Jennifer Ehle. Capote – We did not share nor comprehend Capote’s dark fascination with two brutal killers. Creepy. Good Night and Good Luck – A watchable movie about the Commie purges during early Cold War American. The film has a too worshipful view of newsman Edward Murrow, and glosses over the successful Soviet spy penetration to the very heart of the American atomic program. The Soviet threat was not imagined; it was very real. 
Most Annoying Performance COLIN FARREL – Alexander the Great Best Comedy Team America: World Police Best Ensemble Cast Troy – Brad Pitt, Sean Bean, Eric Bana, Orlando Bloom, Brain Cox, Diane Kruger, Siri Svegler, and Brendon Gleeson. WTF did I just see? (two way tie) Primer & Riding the Bullet Most overrated movie Million Dollar Baby Best Screen couple Paul Bettany and Kirsten Dunst – Wimbledon Notes from awards committee: 2004 was a very good year for the big screen movies with plenty of fun surprises. Of course the year was not without disappointments with some over-hyped, mediocre films. For instance, Million Dollar Baby, a girly sports film that morphs into a triple hanky tearjerker, failed to move the meter above average. Sure it was watchable and an OK retread of movie themes we’ve all seen before, but the outburst of Hollywood love for Eastwood and his movie was, well, astonishing to say the least. We picked five of the best movies of the year, and MDB was not on the list. Neither was the MDB star, Hillary Swank, on our list for the five Best Actress performances. Three really outstanding turns by Annette Bening, Kate Blanchett and Kate Winslet made it a tough call for Best Actress. But after much debate, the committee awarded the Best Actress Simpson award to Annette for her memorable and enjoyable starring role in Being Julia. The Best Actor Simpson was awarded to James Caviezel for his physically demanding, touching performance in The Passion of the Christ. Mr. Caviezel, in the challenging role of Jesus, carried the movie on his strong back and was the major reason the film was a smash hit at the Box Office ($370M). The best motion picture of the year was The Aviator which was snubbed for the Oscar in favor of the girl boxing film, Million Dollar Baby. We are here to correct that mistake and award the Best Picture Simpson to The Aviator. The star studded cast, led by Leonardo DiCaprio as the young Howard Hughes, is an exceptional character study of a complex, ambitious and brilliant man. Martin Scorsese has directed many films, but this sweeping epic is his masterpiece; beautifully filmed, capturing Howard Hughes glory days with style and grace. Scorsese abandons his usual gutter gangster theme and instead presents Classic Americana – lavish production sets of old Hollywood, Hughes conquering Hollywood and the aviation business, often seen with a beautiful movie actress on his arm. Howard Hughes was a true pioneer in early aviation history, and the movie wisely makes it the focus. Fun Surprises - Wimbledon – A sexy female tennis star inspires a retiring "third rounder" male tennis pro to fight and win, and transforms both in the process. An intelligent portrayal of a dominant white male with a closing scene which celebrates true success and subtly condemns Hollywood cultural decline. Chronicles of Riddick – Riddick is the best bad-ass, anti-hero since Arnold in Terminator. This one is for Sci-Fi fans. Also has a surprise ending I did not see coming. Troy – Ancient Greek mythology with A-list star power and plenty of action. National Treasure – Nickolas Cage and Diane Kruger on a fun treasure hunt that found plenty of gold at the box office. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind – Underrated actor Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet, as his wacky girlfriend Clementine, star in this genre mix; comedy – romance with a Sci-fi twist. The Alamo - The John Wayne 1960 version of the Alamo story was a classic tale of myth making; while in the 2004 version, Director John Lee Hancock does a first class job of accurately presenting the Alamo story in the context of important events in Texas History. Hancock’s film is a near perfect blend of factual history and Hollywood style with outstanding performances. Team America: World Police - The story is based on a simple concept – an action movie with militaristic puppets. Thus our heroes are wooden-headed idiots to the core who spout mindless nonsense while battling Islamic terrorists. Released a year into the second Iraq war, this is the most subversive of Hollywood's early reactions to Bush’s reckless military adventurism in the Middle East. Disappointments - Alexander – This big budget bio-pic about Alexander the Great, the invincible Macedonian warlord is ruined by casting Colin Farrell in the lead role. Farrell isn’t up to the task, what with his Alexander mostly registering as a sexually confused, Hollywood pretty boy with blonde highlights. And what’s with the Irish accent in ancient Greece? Finding Neverland – major problem for me is that I found the main character, Barre (Depp), to be odd and creepy and unlikeable. From the first scene in the film, it is made clear that he ignores his wife and his only true love is the young boys in the film. I also find it disturbing that the real Barre was alleged to be a child molester, an issue that the film just glazes over. Sideways – A not funny, buddy flick billed as a “comedy. I did not buy the central premise that Jack and Miles would hang out together for a week long wine tasting trip. I think they would last about five minutes, at the most. 
Most Annoying Performance DIANE KEATON – Something’s Gotta Give Best Comedy A Mighty Wind by Christopher Guest Best Ensemble Cast A Mighty Wind – Christopher Guest, Eugene Levy, Michael McKean, Catherine O’Hara, and Jane Lynch. WTF did I just see? (two way tie) The Room by Tommy Wiseau and Identity Most overrated movie Lost in Translation Best juvenile performance Sosuke Ikematsu – The Last Samurai Notes from awards committee: Lord of the Rings: Return of the King is a towering triumph of a movie, and is awarded the Best Motion Picture Simpson award. Also voted Best Picture by the Academy Return of the King is a modern epic, and a fitting conclusion to the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Moviegoers flocked to see it. The film grossed over $1bn, and awards from the critics and fellow filmmakers rained down. Return of the King won all 11 Oscars it was nominated for, putting it level with Ben Hur and Titanic. Giant battles, spellbinding storylines and heroic figures - Return of the King had everything JRR Tolkien would have demanded. Quite an achievement. After a rare agreement with Oscar on the top motion picture, not a single Academy winner or nominee for Best Actor and Best Actress matched up with the HouseClark awards. Trust us, all the best performances of the year were snubbed by the Academy. We are here to correct that mistake. Uma Thurman is awarded the Best Actress Simpson for her stunning, action-packed performance in the female revenge thriller, Kill Bill: Part One. The Best Actor Simpson is awarded to Russel Crowe for his steely performance of a cunning, aggressive and noble sea captain in a seafaring saga set during the Napoleonic Wars in the early 1800’s. Russel Crowe is the centerpiece of an action movie of unparalleled beauty. Fun Surprises - Underworld – A kick ass action movie with vampires and werewolves starring Kate Beckinsale in a skin tight leather jumpsuit. A Mighty Wind – was loaded with comedy genius. American Folk Music Culture at its most fun and comical. Kill Bill: Part one – Uma Thurman is Wonder Woman with a samurai sword. EXPERTLY choreographed, precise fight scenes and unforgettable set pieces. Not for the squeamish movie fan. Open Range – Hooray! Westerns are not extinct yet. Let’s go on a cattle drive. A great performance by Kevin Costner as a cowboy trying to escape his violent, troubled past. Hint – he needs a good woman to set him straight. Disappointments - Somethings Gotta Give – It was just one cringe scene after another. Worst movie of the year by a wide margin. The Last Samurai – The movie is a bit all over the place and way too long. Only for hardcore Tom Cruise fans. And for the record, a French officer, Jules Brunet, was the real life Last Samurai. Gods and Generals – The movie is a tribute to General Stonewall Jackson, the greatest tactical battlefield general of his day. Well played by Stephen Lang, Stonewall is the main star and has the most screen time. But how you could make a movie centered on Stonewall Jackson, and not highlight the Shenandoah Valley Campaign, his military masterpiece? Plenty of interesting military history was left out to make room for way too many creaky, stagey gabfests. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl – Johnny Depp hit a gold mine with these pirate movies in the 2000s. As Captain Jack Sparrow he dressed up like a drag queen and wore more eye make-up than Elizabeth Taylor in Cleopatra. Kids loved it. Lost in Translation – a boring, slow pokey story of two American lonely hearts in Tokyo. Bill Murray and Scarlett Johansson make an odd geezer/Gidget couple. Their onscreen chemistry isn't strong enough to override the creepiness of their cheating flirtations. Monster – Despite all the bias, it didn't convince me to feel sympathy for serial killers. 21 Grams – An endless pity party. Unbearable. 
Most Annoying Performance RICHARD GERE – Chicago Best Comedy My Big Fat Greek Wedding Best Ensemble Cast LOTR – Two Towers – Elijah Wood, Cate Blanchett, Orlando Bloom, Billy Boyd, Brad Dourif, Bernard Hill, Christopher Lee, Ian McKellen, Dominic Monaghan, Viggo Mortensen, Miranda Otto, John Rhys-Davies, Andy Serkis, Liv Tyler, Karl Urban, Hugo Weaving. WTF did I just see? Confessions of a Dangerous Mind Most overrated movie The Pianist Best juvenile performances Abigail Breslin, age 6; Rory Culkin, age 13 - Signs Notes from awards committee: Our top motion picture of the year is The Bourne Identity, an outstanding action/adventure film that was totally snubbed by the Academy. This is the first, and our favorite, of the Jason Bourne trilogy. Everything in the movie is executed with style and polish. And it has all the classic elements of the modern secret agent – assassin genre including a deliciously subversive anti-government element. Best Actor Simpson is awarded to Matt Damon. Mr. Damon is perfect as the brooding, dangerous Jason Bourne battling both amnesia and CIA killers on his trail. Miss Franka Potente is the _Bourne Girl_ and she does not disappoint. She is not the traditional glamour-girl leading actress type, but more of the innocent girl-next-door. The love chemistry kicks in between her and Matt Damon, and the sparks fly. It is a pleasure to correct yet another Academy mistake and award the Best Actress Simpson to Miss Potente. We have the entire Bourne trilogy on DVD, and Bourne Identity is probably the most rewatched disk out of our entire collection of hundreds of DVDs. Excellent nonstop entertainment. Fun Surprises - My Big Fat Greek Wedding – Romance + likeable characters + delightful humor = Box Office Gold. This indie film grossed over $240 million; all for a budget of $5 million. I would love to see that happen more often.
Catch Me If You Can – A rather lighthearted crime film based on the true story of con man, Frank Abagnale. Leonardo DiCaprio perfectly brings the main character to life on the big screen, so that the audience can understand and even like a criminal felon. This is tricky work and not for amateur actors. Tom Hanks plays a determined FBI agent on his trail, and Christopher Walken turns in a polished, striking performance as Frank’s beloved father. Film keeps a brisk pace, and has a few good laughs. Spielberg lovingly recreates the jet age of the 1960s. Road to Perdition - It is very rare for a film to be filled with outstanding performances by multiple A-list actors. This is one of them. Equally amazing is that the actors are, more often than not, acting against type. The story is dark & grim, there is no humor, no romance, and it is emotionally cold. None of the main characters are good guys, but this is as it should be in a movie about violent American gangsters in the wild and crazy Prohibition era. Disappointments - Chicago – the film tackled the question that nobody asked, “How well can women in prison on death row dance and sing?” Catherine Zeta-Jones delivered a flashy and exciting performance, but she could not save this odd musical by herself. Richard Gere is terribly miscast as a dancing lawyer with two left feet. The Pianist - Like so many other mediocre films, The Pianist is a movie that is quickly forgotten and not worth watching again. Ever. And, here we go again with the evil Nazis - and the Holocaust - to make it Oscar-bait. Far from heaven - This hateful view of the Fifties and of American suburbia is neither original, accurate, not even interesting. It's the conventional foolishness of Hollywood. The Hours – Three women deal with suicides. Really? Who would pay money to watch this kind of mental punishment? Gangs of New York - a bleak, fake, blood-soaked vision of American history with a cast of unlikeable characters in a painfully long three hour movie. The fan boys rave about Bill “The Butcher” played by Daniel Day-Lewis, but other than being the biggest, meanest bully on the block, why do we care about him? 
Most Annoying Performance BEN AFFLECK – Pearl Harbor Best Comedy Performance Audrey Tautou – Amelie Best Ensemble Cast Gosford Park – Helen Mirren, Clive Owen, Kristin Scott Thomas, Michael Gambon, Maggie Smith, Kelly Macdonald, and Emily Watson WTF did I just see? Momento Most overrated movie A Beautiful Mind Best juvenile performances Daniel Radcliffe, age 12 & Emma Watson, age 11 – Harry Potter… Haley Joel Osment, age 12 – A.I.: Artificial Intelligence Alakina Mann, age 10; & James Bentley, age 8 – The Others Notes from awards committee: In one of the Academies major blunders of the decade, the mostly forgettable 2001 turkey, A Beautiful Mind, was named best Motion Picture. Clearly two of the Academy noms, Gosford Park and The Fellowship of the Rings, were far superior to the Academy winner. To make matters worse, the Academy also snubbed the best film of the year, Mulholland Drive. So it is with great pleasure that we correct this mistake and award the Simpson Best Motion Picture award to David Lynch’s masterpiece, Mullholland Drive. Likewise we award the Simpson Best Actress award to Naomi Watts for her career best, mesmerizing performance as Diane/Betty in Mullholland Drive. The Best Actor Simpson Award goes to Richard Harris – he absolutely nailed the character of Albus Dumbledore in the first Harry Potter film, and since he died the next year in 2002 let’s make this Simpson also a Distinguished Career Award for Mr. Harris. Fun Surprises - Mulholland Drive - a dream fever mystery story of love, betrayal, tragedy and murder most foul. This movie is pure cinematic brilliance: totally surreal, bizarre and highly watchable every minute of screen time.
Gosford Park - This film is a classy, well done, who-dun-it set in the bygone 1930’s. The DNA for the widely popular TV miniseries Downton Abbey is from this movie. While Downton Abbey is chiefly concerned with romance and the battle of the sexes, Gosford Park is an ideal place for a carefully planned murder. The storyline is firmly in the English school of detection: a set-piece murder case, a royal victim and upper class suspects in a gentile setting with a few skeletons best left locked in the closet. Jurassic Park 3 – This criminally underrated movie is by far the best Jurassic Park sequel, and was a major box office success in the US and worldwide. Sam Neil is back as paleologist Dr. Grant, and leads a refreshed cast without a weak link or annoying little kids. The new dinosaurs are kick-ass; the best yet, and even outdo the newer Jurassic World films. Jurassic Park III is a technical benchmark to use for mastery in the special effects department. A classic popcorn movie. The Fellowship of the Rings commands attention with a spectacular adventure tale and intriguing mythical characters set in the jaw-dropping scenes of Middle Earth. Incredible big screen panache. A.I.: Artificial Intelligence - a joint effort between two powerhouses of the silver screen, Steven Spielberg and Stanley Kubrick, A.I. lived up to high expectations. Kubrick developed the central idea, but did not live to see the final film. Spielberg took over to bring the movie to completion in 2001. A simultaneously touching and dark tale, it features a stunning performance by Haley Joel Osment as David, a robot with deeply human emotions caught between the mech world and the organic world. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone is a classic fantasy story of good versus evil, and the power of friendships. Outstanding cast of child stars make a tricky transition from the real world to the magic of Hogwarts on the big screen. Also was the Box Office champ of the year, by a wide margin. The Cat’s Meow is a tantalizing combination of urban legend, old Hollywood moguls and a mysterious death during a weekend yacht party. Pitch perfect expose of the rich and famous in the Roaring Twenties. Disappointments - A Beautiful Mind - Despite all the famous names on title, the flick is the textbook definition of “average,” with nothing about it that makes a lasting impact. It’s a strange biopic about John Nash, an economist with a mental disorder. Pearl Harbor – Painfully boring, too talky chick flick. Skip ahead to Chapter 27 to finally watch something happen when the Japanese Imperial Navy shows up. Black Hawk Down – Ridley Scott’s big budget war movie about an ugly skirmish between American troops and Somalia Islamic warlords was snubbed by the academy. It is worth a look, but keep in mind the film is deeply flawed – it studiously avoids reflecting on the hard lesson learned that America cannot, should not be the world police. The reason why the American troops were sent into a dangerous lawless country is unbelievably never questioned. But there we are, mucking around in Somalia, an unimportant country on the other side of the world. There is no national interest at stake whatsoever. Some reviewers claim that BHD is a good war movie. Well, there are two kinds of Hollywood war movies: pro-war movies and anti-war movies. According to the director this was meant to be an anti-war movie. I disagree – it is more of a pro-war flick. It shows helicopter gunships with miniguns blazing, and flashy, heroic macho warriors mowing down black Somalis by the hundreds to the tune of pounding rock music. 
Most Annoying Performance JULIA ROBERTS - Erin Brockovich Best Comedy Performance Sandra Bullock – Miss Congeniality Best Ensemble Cast High Fidelity – John Cusack, Jack Black, Todd Louiso, Tim Robbins, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Joan Cusack, Iben Hjejle, WTF did I just see? Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon Most overrated movie Erin Brockovich Best juvenile performance Suzi Hofrichter, age 11 – How to Kill Your Neighbor’s Dog Notes from awards committee: The year 2000 was great for movie fans. We saw outstanding high drama with Gladiator and Perfect Storm, a bonanza of fun comedies, and for a bonus – Pitch Black, a clever sci-fi/horror genre mix with memorable characters. In a surprising turn of events, the HouseClark committee agreed with the Academy’s top choices for Best Picture and Best Actor. Gladiator was number three at the box office, and Number One at HouseClark for Best Picture and Best Actor, Russell Crowe. And thank you Ridley Scott for presenting the grandeur of Ancient Rome on the silver screen. In real life there is not much left of Ancient Rome – only a faint shadow of the past. HouseClark did not shy away from awarding a Best Actress award for a comedy performance. Miss Congeniality is a near perfect comedy, and star, Sandra Bullock, could not have been better. Her transition from tomboy to Knock-out was stunning. Fun Surprises - O Brother, Where Art Thou? A lighthearted comedy, with surprisingly good musical touches, that spins a story around a trio of hillbillies (escaped cons actually) and old time country music. This unlikely combination is loaded with wit, intelligence and non-stop humor. The soundtrack was a phenomenal success and won four Grammys in 2002. Other HouseClark comedy favorites for 2000 – High Fidelity, Small Time Crooks, How to Kill Your Neighbor’s Dog, Best in Show, Meet the Parents, and the seriously underrated dark comedy Lucky Numbers. All are good enough to make the Must Watch List, and have a place on your private DVD shelf. Very re-watchable. These movies are on in my Private DVD collection; not because they are masterpieces but because it managed to entertain me its entire length. American Psycho – Christian Bale puts in a star turn as the ruthless sociopath, Patrick Bateman, a Wall Street high-roller who considers murder just another day at the office. Good luck getting a table at Dorsia. Almost Famous – This movie tells the story of a young journalist on tour with a big time 1970s rock band, and his sometimes jarring introduction to life in the fast lane. Powerfully critical of the rootless hedonistic rock culture and mores. Does our young hero have the right instincts to survive the road tour unscathed? Perfect Storm - The movie is perhaps the best ever big screen display of the awesome power and total indifference of Mother Nature, and ranked #4 at the US Box Office. The film also shows a realistic version of how a series of bad decisions, bad weather and a few mechanical problems can lead to disaster on your unlucky day. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon – Here we go with fly-by-wire Kung-Fu. Is this film bold and inventive, or the silliest flick you ever saw? You make the call. In any case it is a visual feast for the eyes. What Lies Beneath – The star power of Harrison Ford and Michelle Pfeiffer vaulted this mystery/horror film into the $100+ million Box Office Club. Does upper-class Vermont suburbia have haunted houses? You bet it does. Disappointments - Erin Brockovich – Our problem with this film is Julia Roberts, the most overrated actress in the business. Her too cheeky Hollywood version of Brockovich mostly registered as a small town hooker. Also the film had the look and feel of a cable-TV docudrama. Traffic – A dismal, boring dirge on the failed “War on Drugs”. Overlong, preachy with an unrealistic portrayal of drug culture. Patriot – The definitive epic film on the American Revolution has yet to be made. Patriot took a shot and missed. Too much of the story line was fake. Historical accuracy is a serious matter at HouseClark. |
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