2005 House Clark “Simpson” Awards
Most Annoying Performance
COLIN FARREL – Alexander the Great
Team America: World Police
Best Ensemble Cast
Troy – Brad Pitt, Sean Bean, Eric Bana, Orlando Bloom, Brain Cox,
Diane Kruger, Siri Svegler, and Brendon Gleeson.
WTF did I just see? (two way tie)
Primer & Riding the Bullet
Most overrated movie
Million Dollar Baby
Best Screen couple
Paul Bettany and Kirsten Dunst – Wimbledon
Notes from awards committee:
2004 was a very good year for the big screen movies with plenty of fun surprises. Of course the year was not without disappointments with some over-hyped, mediocre films. For instance, Million Dollar Baby, a girly sports film that morphs into a triple hanky tearjerker, failed to move the meter above average. Sure it was watchable and an OK retread of movie themes we’ve all seen before, but the outburst of Hollywood love for Eastwood and his movie was, well, astonishing to say the least. We picked five of the best movies of the year, and MDB was not on the list. Neither was the MDB star, Hillary Swank, on our list for the five Best Actress performances.
Three really outstanding turns by Annette Bening, Kate Blanchett and Kate Winslet made it a tough call for Best Actress. But after much debate, the committee awarded the Best Actress Simpson award to Annette for her memorable and enjoyable starring role in Being Julia. The Best Actor Simpson was awarded to James Caviezel for his physically demanding, touching performance in The Passion of the Christ. Mr. Caviezel, in the challenging role of Jesus, carried the movie on his strong back and was the major reason the film was a smash hit at the Box Office ($370M).
The best motion picture of the year was The Aviator which was snubbed for the Oscar in favor of the girl boxing film, Million Dollar Baby. We are here to correct that mistake and award the Best Picture Simpson to The Aviator. The star studded cast, led by Leonardo DiCaprio as the young Howard Hughes, is an exceptional character study of a complex, ambitious and brilliant man. Martin Scorsese has directed many films, but this sweeping epic is his masterpiece; beautifully filmed, capturing Howard Hughes glory days with style and grace. Scorsese abandons his usual gutter gangster theme and instead presents Classic Americana – lavish production sets of old Hollywood, Hughes conquering Hollywood and the aviation business, often seen with a beautiful movie actress on his arm. Howard Hughes was a true pioneer in early aviation history, and the movie wisely makes it the focus.
Fun Surprises -
Wimbledon – A sexy female tennis star inspires a retiring "third rounder" male tennis pro to fight and win, and transforms both in the process. An intelligent portrayal of a dominant white male with a closing scene which celebrates true success and subtly condemns Hollywood cultural decline.
Chronicles of Riddick – Riddick is the best bad-ass, anti-hero since Arnold in Terminator. This one is for Sci-Fi fans. Also has a surprise ending I did not see coming.
Troy – Ancient Greek mythology with A-list star power and plenty of action.
National Treasure – Nickolas Cage and Diane Kruger on a fun treasure hunt that found plenty of gold at the box office.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind – Underrated actor Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet, as his wacky girlfriend Clementine, star in this genre mix; comedy – romance with a Sci-fi twist.
The Alamo - The John Wayne 1960 version of the Alamo story was a classic tale of myth making; while in the 2004 version, Director John Lee Hancock does a first class job of accurately presenting the Alamo story in the context of important events in Texas History. Hancock’s film is a near perfect blend of factual history and Hollywood style with outstanding performances.
Team America: World Police - The story is based on a simple concept – an action movie with militaristic puppets. Thus our heroes are wooden-headed idiots to the core who spout mindless nonsense while battling Islamic terrorists. Released a year into the second Iraq war, this is the most subversive of Hollywood's early reactions to Bush’s reckless military adventurism in the Middle East.
Alexander – This big budget bio-pic about Alexander the Great, the invincible Macedonian warlord is ruined by casting Colin Farrell in the lead role. Farrell isn’t up to the task, what with his Alexander mostly registering as a sexually confused, Hollywood pretty boy with blonde highlights. And what’s with the Irish accent in ancient Greece?
Finding Neverland – major problem for me is that I found the main character, Barre (Depp), to be odd and creepy and unlikeable. From the first scene in the film, it is made clear that he ignores his wife and his only true love is the young boys in the film. I also find it disturbing that the real Barre was alleged to be a child molester, an issue that the film just glazes over.
Sideways – A not funny, buddy flick billed as a “comedy. I did not buy the central premise that Jack and Miles would hang out together for a week long wine tasting trip. I think they would last about five minutes, at the most.
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